PA Lyrics

Palms together to steady the storm
Calm in the center
Sending to heaven this letter penned by a sinner
Mentally, I delivered
Living indebted to the forgiver
Due on the crucifix
Pitted against the inner demons
Fiends that exist as insisted by the redeemer
Deem me a villain from the very minute of conception
Now that’s affection
Tell me I’m nothing without spiritual correction
You scripted my direction
I spit that energy that you reserve for enemies
The same shits you shaped in the likeness of your imagery
It’s hereditary, trace it through my pedigree
You bless us with impediments
So fuck you if you sentence me
Fuck you if you’re sentient
Never present to attend us
Like my father in my adolescence
Hold up, take it back a second
You’re not the skeleton up in my closet
I’m just contemplating
Wading in torrential thoughts
I’m haunted
I feel the distance wasn’t what you wanted
Probably wouldn’t have had me
Wasn’t ready for it, let’s be honest
My hypothesis: your optimism was the cause of this
Building up your palace, trying to fill it with your populace
A king
But really a jester
Because it’s all theatrics, never put in the effort
I think you value freedom but succumbed to the pressure
Dropping family to better feed your personal pleasures
That’s a lesson learned

A depressing turn
But keeping on that beaten path
Wreaking havoc, sowing bitter seeds and reaping wrath
Reaching from the back
Detach and never lead the pack
We feel the lack
Inadequacy teeming in the aftermath
As a society, we suffer
Fathers fostering violence and keeping love undercover
Smother sons’ sensibilities
Silence their insecurities
Nurture their incivility
Turbulent masculinity
Serving first selfish interests
And measuring worth by inches
They’re coming up short, diminished
Little pricks, just like syringes
Invasive, they get under the skin
Press the point on penetration
Push to pin and plunge it in
Lucifer loose again
Not to excuse the abusers who sin
Let’s crucify those who pretend
That boys don’t grow to be men
Yet girls are taught to defend
Their bodily developments
And regulate their temperaments
Like femininity’s an effing detriment
Yeah, deep in my sentiments
Channel my tenderness
Compensate for my negligence
Figure of father to daughters
Ill with depression, feeling neglect
Wetting my feet to see if I could step
Like I’m the heaven-sent
Baring my sole on this reflective
Surface made of the thinnest ice
I’m nice to be deflective
Protective and affectionate
I’m selfless out of selfishness
Endeavour to be better than them lecherous degenerates
I’m treacherousAnd that’s honesty
Popular opinions ain’t always common policies
Often we just hate the very things we do subconsciously
That’s just human nature to be guilty of hypocrisy
If I’m my fathers’ seed, what can my blossom be?
Does my biology dictate the man I oughta be?
Or blame society for fostering the flaws in me?
Theology would posit I’m a product of his sovereignty
I’m just looking for excuses
Can’t fix the past, everything I tried is useless
History repeats, am I destined to be foolish?
It hurt to put you through this, but keeping you’s abusive
So will I ever be forgiven?
For taking out you your innocence ’cause I was young and trippin’?
For making this the only script in which you’re ever written?
Or am I vindicated for expressing my opinion?
I feel you looking down on me for everything I’ve done
You know I grew up without, so I could never be your one
Been a menace to the ones I loved, you see the way I’m shunned
Which is why we made the right decision leaving you undone
But I’m sorry
‘Cause you deserved a future
But I could never promise you the life that would suit ya
I’m struggling with expectations from past traumas I can’t stomach
Can’t protect you in this world
So I’m saving you from it

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