3 Pound Pints Lyrics

[Verse 1]
The morning commute feels like getting punched in the penis by a mallet
And then asking a man with a mallet if he’d like it to do it again after the weekend
My mum said work hard in school, so I did
Why am I more miserable than the kids that didn’t?
What the fuck happened to 20-20 vision?
I spent most of my time that year in a prison

[Chorus]
I’m getting higher than the average house price
Three pound pints, so I go ahead and down mine
How long until we’re paying to go outside?
Three pound pints, so I go ahead and down mine
Ma, you didn’t tell me this is how it’s how it’ll be
Thought life would be fine if you found a degree
Yeah, I’m looking for three pound pints (Three pound pints anyone?)
[Verse 2]
It’s unusual
I go to the shop and there’s 50 million types of bottled water
That doesn’t seem very useful
One notion
David Attenborough makes me feel like shit for using a straw, while BP takes oil spill wanks in the ocean[Chorus]
I’m getting higher than the average house price
Three pound pints, so I go ahead and down mine
How long until we’re paying to go outside?
Three pound pints, so I go ahead and down mine
Ma, you didn’t tell me this is how it’s how it’ll be
Thought life would be fine if you found a degree
Yeah, I’m looking for three pound pints (Three pound pints anyone?)[Verse 3]
What an annoying day
The government can lie about pretty much everything (Everything)
But I get fired for taking excessively long toilet breaks
It’s awesome, people say, “go back to where you came from” (“Go back to where you came from!”)
I was literally born in Portsmouth[Chorus]
I’m getting higher than the average house price
Three pound pints, so I go ahead and down mine
How long until we’re paying to go outside?
Three pound pints, so I go ahead and down mine
Ma, you didn’t tell me this is how it’s how it’ll be
Thought life would be fine if you found a degree
Yeah, I’m looking for three pound pints (Three pound pints anyone?)